MURYOKO
'Infinite Light'
Journal of Shin Buddhism
John Paraskevopoulos
The Primal Vow
In the long night of ignorance, it is the torch:
The wisdom-eye is in darkness, yet do not sorrow.
In the vast sea of birth-and-death it is the raft:
The hindrance of evil karma weighs heavy, yet do not grieve.
(Shozomatsu Wasan 36)
The above wasan by Shinran already seems to presuppose some kind of profound existential predicament. This spiritual crisis is somehow presented as a given, yet it is not immediately apparent what solution is being proposed. To what, then, is the wasan referring ? The 'torch' and the 'raft' being spoken of here is the Primal Vow of Amida Buddha. This has struck some observers as a strange concept but when considered deeply, it is a very powerful notion. What underlies it is a recognition that the highest or ultimate reality, while remaining an ineffable mystery at its core, is fundamentally characterised by the qualities of wisdom and compassion. Now these are not just high-minded concepts that sound nice and comforting but which have no efficacy in our everyday lives. The 'Primal Vow' referred to above is a direct consequence of the Buddha's nature. By virtue of his compassion, Amida Buddha desires the supreme good for each sentient being, which is none other than liberation from the 'vast sea of birth-and-death' or samsara. This liberation leads to Nirvana and the cessation of all suffering. In other words, the Buddha desires our Enlightenment which effectively dispels our painful delusions and allows us to become one with the ultimate reality which is manifested as Amida's infinite light and life. Compassion, in its deepest sense, must mean this or it means nothing at all. The Primal Vow corresponds to our deepest desire for an existence free from pain, suffering and ignorance. Now such an existence is not possible in our world of samsara. The Buddha sees our plight and desires to deliver us from it. How he does so is in accordance with his wisdom which devises the most effective means of reaching out to us like a 'torch' in the 'long night of ignorance'.
Many of us live our lives in a kind of stupor. Although we often find life unsatisfactory or even unbearable, we are not conscious that we are, in fact, 'drowning' in the 'vast sea' of 'birth-and-death' with all its infirmities and afflictions. It does not occur to us to either question why we find ourselves in such a state or to seek a way out of our predicament. Of course, we often think we can assuage our feelings of disquiet and unease by all manner of distractions but these remain samsaric in nature and merely serve to distract us from our true quest - ultimately, they can only disappoint in view of the deceptive relief they provide. In seeking wealth, fame, honours and pleasures we think that we have found solutions to our deep-seated anxieties. These things are, indeed, desirable but they often leave us empty because they do not address the basic cause of this anxiety. They affirm and project our ego into the world. We want to be successful, admired and loved but we seek to do this through the accumulation of qualities that are fraudulent, either because we have no right to lay claim to them as our own or because they ultimately compound our unhappiness by separating us from our true aim in life.
Sooner or later, we reach an impasse in our lives where we have to come to terms with this impasse and see a way through it or we will be left burying our heads in the sand, and resigning ourselves to lives of bitter mediocrity; lives that shun the quest for truth and seek to numb the pain by 'living in denial' as the modern adage goes. This struggle is not easy and neither are the answers to our predicament. However, there comes a point where, in the very midst of darkness, a 'torch' is seen and we find ourselves compelled to follow it. At the very moment where things appear to be utterly hopeless as we vainly thrash about in the stormy ocean of samsara, we see a 'raft' and instinctively reach out for it. This is not merely the result of any kind of rational or considered train of thought. There is no calculation here, no careful weighing up of self-interest; just an immediate and instinctual response of seeking deliverance from the 'long night of ignorance'. In the throes of our desperation, we recognize something we feel able to trust because there is nothing else. This is more than just 'a leap of faith'. It is a form of recognition, of knowledge but a knowledge that cannot be purchased cheaply. It is only when we are at 'rock-bottom' that such an awareness is able to dawn on us. It is only when our own resources are completely exhausted, when our conceit, arrogance and pride are thoroughly depleted, that we can extend our entrusting hand to the saving light. It is only when we are stripped of every illusion and see ourselves as nothing, that our consciousness is able to recognize the Primal Vow and its full significance for the first time. When we find ourselves at this critical juncture, we can either fall prey to the abyss of doubt or raise our crestfallen gazes to the possibility of true and enduring emancipation.
The insight with which we are able to recognise the 'torch' or the 'raft' for what it is, is none other than the Buddha's wisdom imparted to us at the critical point of our spiritual nadir. This is the rite of passage we need to experience before our eyes can be opened by the Buddha's compassion. The process must, of necessity, be painful so that we may be purged of our benighted delusions in order to attain true humility and clarity of vision. The Primal Vow seeks to deliver all beings without exception - it does not discriminate or judge. However, in order to recognise and surrender to it, we need to fully understand what we are and that of which we are most in need.